i did [LAST OFFICE] during my morning shift ytdae..
眼睁睁的看着病人的离去...
最后一次的替他抹身.. 换回他之前最喜欢的上衣和牛仔... while i, zhengyong n 1 of my CIs were doing the [packing] procedure..
外面传出.. 难过, 痛哭..悲伤的声音..
"为什么怎么突然??? 你还没交代就走了!! 为什么??"..
那一刻,..我看见家人情绪激动.. 就好像..在刹那间.. 无法接受眼前的事实...
我们有2HRS的时间准备,
在里头有1/2钟.. 安排整理病人..
而因为时间太接近的关系..死亡后的那最后1/2HR..他的身体..全身差点僵硬..it was because of the poor blood circulation of the body.. 以出现身体水肿的现象..
我尽我最大的能力了..
me n zhengyong.. 都好紧张... throughout the 1/2hr.. we totally realli quiet..
our CI..担心我们会CMI..所以.. frm the very beginning to the end.. she kept on talkin to us.. n also to the "patient" .. .
我首先是用wet towel... 替他抹脸... 然后看着他..对他说..
"uncle...你已经没有任何的牵挂了.. 快跟你的家人走...回去吧!!"..
可能你会问我.. 为什么我要这样说..
因为在死者过世的2HRS内.. 他是很有可能的听见你和他在勾通..
虽然脑..已经死了..但身体的灵魂还是存在的.. i took off my gloves.. cos wld b easier to help him button his clothes.. n at tis moment.. when i touched on him.. i cld feel tat.. he's realli cold ar.. i'm nervous, of cos!.. but tat's was lyke during the first 10mins ago.. i've to adapt to tis condition first... soo... when come to the end.. i wrapped, covered n tied him up...
他的妻子..这时候.. 打开了curtain..
" nurse..nurse!.. i still got something to tell my husband.. n i say a few words to him.. "
my CI: pls come in.. [she said to her... ] "darling!.. 这里你不用担心..有我在.. 到了上面, 记得去投胎..NCC [national cancer centre] 跟你说过的话,记得吗?.. 你就一直在紧紧的背着那个很大的背包,.. 听我们的话..把它放下了... 这个沉重的包袱..真的不用再抗了..真的darling.. ." [she cried... ] 2hrs 一到.. the special portal team came.. collected his body.. & they left.. .. this was my first time.. doing hands-on las office procedure.. realli thanks the CIs.. for giving me guidance n helpin me along to get over it.. thank u so much...*
Though we r only student nurses.. but tx to the family members.. giving us trust n cooperation...很放心的把他们的亲人交给我们处理.. ..很感激你们对我们学生的信任..
谢谢您!
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ytdae.. went back to school after my shift..
i brought the iron wif me.. n helped to iron all the washed clothes b4 the training offically get started..
coach reached @7.20pm.. 他有事..耽误了.. (:
so they rehears 4 the performance for tis morning..
im sorry.. i cldnt come n gt myself invol in tis performance.. hai.. ATTACHMENT!!
thx for the understanding ppl.. hee~
but at least..i came down to see them.. rehearsin.. haha..
it's really fun sia.. n PATTERN多多.. 哈.. so we were training 1/2wae through.. n "HE"came..
at first,.. i didnt realise tat.. he's walkin tw us ...
"ahh.. 是J___啊!" ...i "JI'TAO" stunned.. n walked to another side.. 避免冲突..
[well, it's impossible la! 'cos 我们是读书人.. 明白道理的.. .LOL!]
during out "take-5".. coach spent some time.. talkin to "him"..
[the conversation ... shall keep it confidential den.. ] ..
k...so it started raining le.. n he left after a while..
we gathered ard..n coach started to talk to us.. [regrdin "他"和"我们"] "........他欠你们大家一个explaination... n 最对不起的人是____"..
[speechless*] .. i really am. ..
"我尊重你们的decision.. 看你们还要不要让他回来.. .BUT 最后的决定..还是在____的身上... "
[n again.. i feel so. ... tryin my best to ctrl my emotion;.. 我脸上开始起了变化.. .]
at that moment in time.. the atmosphere was quiet ard us.. i cldnt eye contact wif any1 of them... 因为我会哭的.. [but i didn't]...
我的眼神.. 很集中的望着外头下着的大雨.. 而心..想的就是.. 现在,在讨论的事...
[pausin for more than 10s.. ] ..
ME: "好收乐器.. 推进去store里面... ".. .
"aei... 慈恩...你听先... 先听我讲... "...
ME: "不要啦..我不想听... " .. [i almost wanted to keep the bua.. lolx! but it's damn heavy la ..aniwae.. haha.. ]
after some time.. keepin all instruments back to the store..
"来..我跟你讲..."
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在教练和我的谈话中.. 我真的无法面对面说出我的心情.因为我的情绪还是存在的..
谢谢你的谅解.. ..
"教练.. 如果说..我对"他"..最后有了改变.... 然后再跟大家讲出我的决定.. 你觉得会不会..改变他们对"他" 的想法呢?"
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"那是一定会的... 但不要勉强自己... " [he said.. .] "好.. 你给我点时间.. 想一下.. "
when everytime tis conversation came up to mi.. i will auto r/t wht he had did previously to mi and the troupe..
i tried to forget n to forgive ... but it's realli hard..
def becos of the impact i encountered on the day itself..
everything happened JUST WITHIN MINS..
突然之间..真的好无方向... 快要奔溃了.. .
我不能哭..因为是太不值得了...但的确是很难过.. .
现在可以做的事.. 先慢慢的克服我对他的怨恨..
我那把心结..还是锁上的..
P/S: _____, 如果..u get to read tis blog..我希望你明白..
这段时间.. 很难面对你.. 因为在很自然的情况下..我会联想一些不快乐的事.. 抱歉! 过后的决定.. 我会由教练来告诉你..
[coach... 麻烦你了..] (:
